Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you?

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room; well I'm here with you...

Why I Hate People

Justin Goddard asked me the other day why I hate people.  I didn't have a ready answer for him because curiously enough, nobody's ever challenged me on that assertion before.  I've definitely said it a dozen times or so in the last few years, but everyone's always agreed with me (which is an interesting tidbit in its own right).  But apparently, someone challenged Goddard on that assertion so he passed that question onto me (misanthropy apparently being my area of specialty), so I am going to attempt to answer it now.  Or at least, I will write about all the contributing factors towards why I hate "certain aspects" of people, and hopefully, the sum total of all these contributing factors is enough to cover the generality that is "people".

If I were to be 100% honest, I suspect that most of the times when I say "I hate people," I say so partially tongue in cheek.  Like, I don't hold a deep-seated hatred for humanity and I am not, in point of fact, a misanthrope in any real sense of the word.  The emotion I feel when I think upon humanity is much more of an "annoyance" than "hatred," but I also suspect that that may be a coping mechanism because if I reacted with hatred to all the things I should (or instinctively would) hate, I would probably be miserable.  I'm not 100% sure of how I truly feel about humanity in that aspect, but that being said, I am rarely, if ever, shocked to hear about awful things that people do.  It never surprises me to hear that anyone could be or behave like a terrible human being because as far as I'm concerned that is a given.  So, let's take a look at this.

One thing I hate about people is that we do not consider the happiness and feelings of others nearly as often as we should.  It's the reason why so many people are chronically late for stuff and I have yet to hear someone who's chronically late to things come up with a reason that isn't complete and utter fucking bullshit.  No matter what he/she says, it always comes out to: "Yeah, I don't care about the fact that being late wastes your time; it's simply not that important to me."  It's the reason why people are flaky.  The worst thing is, we've championed "individualism" as some sort of great liberal achievement.  And while it is a great liberal achievement when it comes to people being able to marry whoever they want, it's also made people spew out all this "Well, you have to take care of yourself first.  You are your own first priority," crap which more often than not, turns out to mean "People should just learn to deal with my selfishness."

I hate the phrase, "you can't count on anybody."  Not because it's false, but because I've grown increasingly aware of how true it is.  It is ridiculous that we can't count on others because the instant our needs clashes with theirs (even if our need really is a "need" while theirs is a "convenience"), they have full license to tend to themselves and not be held accountable because "Oh well, you know, you can't blame them for looking out for themselves."  Well you know what?  Yes I fucking can.  I'm sorry that you're "feeling a little tired tonight," but if I've flown/driven halfway across the province or country (or world or whatever), suck it up, don't cancel, and make some effort to be pleasant and engaging.  If I can feel like absolute SHIT and still go to work and still make my class engaging, enjoyable, and meaningful for 150 students through the course of a 7-hour day, you can make the effort for an hour for 1 person you presumably like more than I like some of my students.

But people don't like to put in that effort.  And it partly has to do with another reason why I hate people: they hate taking responsibility for their choices and actions and will do anything to either shirk that responsibility, or twist their worldviews to one where their irresponsible choices and actions become magically responsible because "Well, if you really think about it... I actually made the right decision because being a shitty person is innate to human nature and you can't argue with that logic!"

This is also known as the "why I hate adults" response to students who ask me why I like teaching.  I hate the fact that adults reach a certain point in their lives when they decide that they no longer want to put in the work it takes to become a better person.  So what do they do?  Admit that that are flawed and are simply shitty people in certain circumstances?  Well, some do.  And depending on whether they avoid putting themselves in the circumstances that bring out the worst in them, I may or may not hate them.  But on the other hand, many people (adults) don't.  Instead, they shuffle their moral code and find ways to justify their flaws so that they can tell themselves that they are fully-formed adults who don't have to continue to self-improve because there's nothing to fix.  You can't stay faithful to your significant others because human beings weren't biologically programmed to be monogamous anyway?  Well, when you put that way, I guess I can't really blame you for cheating...

I hate people because they pass judgment about things they have no knowledge of and make no attempt to enlighten themselves when they're ignorant because again, that takes work.  I hate that poor sportsmanship is even a thing.  I hate the fact that we live in a world where the most expensive thing you will likely ever buy is simply a place to be.  I hate people because it's more important to them that you are useful than it is for you to be a good person and there isn't a demand for you to be both.

That's all I really have for now.  I'm not entirely sure if I'm done.  I am tired, though, so I guess I should stop.  As I've told my students, hating takes a lot of work, and it's usually not worth the effort.  Typing this all out has made me realize how generally indifferent I am to most of this stuff on a day to day basis.  Like I said in the second paragraph, none of this stuff surprises me anymore so it's not like I go about in my day to day life growling at this stuff as it comes up.  Generally, I do what I can to avoid it, which explains my chosen vocation and why I have so few friends.  Oh well.